Person 1: “Hi! I’ve come to see you!”


Person 2: “Oh?”


Person 1: “Yep! We’re going to hangout! Woohoo!”


Person 2: “Oh… OK. Cool. I mean we’ve only met once, briefly, but OK. You seem nice enough.”


“How long are you going to stay for?”


Person 1: “Hmmm. Probably as long as it takes for one of us start cracking emotionally with either tiredness or boredom?”


Person 2: “Oh… OK.”


Person 1: “Sooooooo… what you got there?”


Person 2: “Oh, just a latte.”


Person 1: “Ah nice. Gimme some.”


Person 2: “You want some of my latte?”


Person 1: “Yep.”


*takes giant swig*


“Half for you; half for me.




“It’s only fair.”


“Oooooooh! Nice bag!”


*picks up Person 2’s bag and whirls it violently around head*


Person 2: “Umm… please can you put my bag down?”


Person 1: “Wooooah! Chill out man! I’m just borrowing the bag. I’m going to give it back!”


Person 2: “It’s just… it’s my favourite bag. And, well, you’re whirling it around your head. It’s not generally what I do with my bag… you know?”


Person 1: “I’m not doing it any harm, am I?!”


“Am I????”


Person 2: “Well… no.”


Person 1: “Ooooh! Nice phone!”


“You got Candy Crush?”


Person 2: “Umm… y… yes?”


Person 1: “Great! Pass it over.”






Person 2: “You want to play on my phone?”


Person 1: “Yes. And I said please. So you have to let me.”


*takes phone*


“You read this instead…”


*hands Person 2 copy of the Daily Mail*


15 minutes later…


Person 2: “Look. I’d like my phone back now. It’s MY phone. This is… weird.”


Person 1: “Jeeez dude, you seriously need to work on your social skills!”



“Just one more thing before I head off then…”


“Where do you keep your car keys?”