CarKeys

 

 

Person 1: “Hi! I’ve come to see you!”

 

Person 2: “Oh?”

 

Person 1: “Yep! We’re going to hangout! Woohoo!”

 

Person 2: “Oh… OK. Cool. I mean we’ve only met once, briefly, but OK. You seem nice enough.”

 

“How long are you going to stay for?”

 

Person 1: “Hmmm. Probably as long as it takes for one of us start cracking emotionally with either tiredness or boredom?”

 

Person 2: “Oh… OK.”

 

Person 1: “Sooooooo… what you got there?”

 

Person 2: “Oh, just a latte.”

 

Person 1: “Ah nice. Gimme some.”

 

Person 2: “You want some of my latte?”

 

Person 1: “Yep.”

 

*takes giant swig*

 

“Half for you; half for me.

 

*burps*

 

“It’s only fair.”

 

“Oooooooh! Nice bag!”

 

*picks up Person 2’s bag and whirls it violently around head*

 

Person 2: “Umm… please can you put my bag down?”

 

Person 1: “Wooooah! Chill out man! I’m just borrowing the bag. I’m going to give it back!”

 

Person 2: “It’s just… it’s my favourite bag. And, well, you’re whirling it around your head. It’s not generally what I do with my bag… you know?”

 

Person 1: “I’m not doing it any harm, am I?!”

 

“Am I????”

 

Person 2: “Well… no.”

 

Person 1: “Ooooh! Nice phone!”

 

“You got Candy Crush?”

 

Person 2: “Umm… y… yes?”

 

Person 1: “Great! Pass it over.”

 

“Now.”

 

“Please.”

 

Person 2: “You want to play on my phone?”

 

Person 1: “Yes. And I said please. So you have to let me.”

 

*takes phone*

 

“You read this instead…”

 

*hands Person 2 copy of the Daily Mail*

 

15 minutes later…

 

Person 2: “Look. I’d like my phone back now. It’s MY phone. This is… weird.”

 

Person 1: “Jeeez dude, you seriously need to work on your social skills!”

 

 

“Just one more thing before I head off then…”

 

“Where do you keep your car keys?”

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